First Booked Show
It was just under one year after my first open mic that I scored a paid gig. A great New England headliner, Mark Scalia, had seen me at some mics and offered me the opening spot at a show he was booking for the Polish-American Club in Gardner, MA. I would be doing 10 minutes for the very first time, sort of…
Rewind a couple months prior to this when a CRAZY opportunity fell into my lap way too soon! I was months into open mic comedy when a friend and co-worker told me that there was a fundraiser in her father’s name at Laugh Boston, the premier comedy club in Boston. She wanted me to do a spot on the show! I had 5 minutes I really liked, and the OTHER 5 minutes that was NOT ready. But that didn’t matter because EVERY show I’ve EVER done has been 5 minutes or less for everybody, so OBVIOUSLY this would be no different.
It was different.
Paul Elwell, great comic, was hosting. You’re Nick? I’m told you’re pretty new, so you’re just doing 10. You good with that?
“I’m actually only comfortable doing 5 if that’s okay? This is my first show that isn’t an open mic so I’d rather keep it tight.” That’s what I should have said.
Yeah, no problem!
Turns out…problem.
Not only did I completely mess up the jokes that weren’t ready, but messing those up made me feel so flustered it was like my first time all over again. I completely blanked, but this time I actually had material that I had been practicing. So instead of rambling about whatever off the top of my head like the first show, I desperately tried to remember the practiced material while my heart was beating through my chest. I very awkwardly scurried off stage, but not before forgetting Paul Elwell’s last name.
Forgetting the host’s last name isn’t a big deal, I could have just said Let’s give it back to Paul everybody! But it was too late for that because before I realized that I didn’t remember Paul’s last name I said Give it up for your host Paul… and I said Paul with such an inflection that OBVIOUSLY I’m about to say his full name. Give it up for your host, Paul… Paul everybody, you know Paul… By the third Paul, Paul had already taken the mic out of my hand! My apologies to Paul, Laugh Boston, and all families affected by my inexperience 10 years ago!
With the Paul fiasco fresh in mind, I was determined to not only have a well timed out 10 minute act for my first paid gig, I also practiced Mark’s last name as much as I did my own jokes. (Only to hear Mark say his own last name completely differently about a year later, which he then explained to me he does on purpose to fuck with people). I had my jokes ready, my timing down, Mark’s fake last name locked and loaded.
As an Italian-American kid performing for the Polish-American Club I wrote a terrible one-off joke to open that I still remember…
What do you call a Polish gangster?
Well, we surveyed 100 people to figure it out. It was a Pollster.
It’s okay to groan. They did! Despite that lame opening line I had a very good 10 minute set. I’ll never forget watching Paul Landwehr, the feature act, go up next and ABSOLUTELY MURDER for 30 minutes straight. I invited him outside after for a quick smoke, and the whole walk to the car I’m thinking about all these questions I want to ask him about comedy and how to get better like him. Before I turned around to ask him anything, he goes Man! How do you look so confident up there?
Still don’t know how to answer that one because I wasn’t confident back then and I still have nothing I could teach Paul Landwehr about comedy! I love that memory because it started the process of learning how to find paid gigs and I got network with Mark who would go on to book me more. I would show up to other booked shows over the years and find out I’m opening for Mark or Paul and I’d remember that night and feel really good about how much progress I’d made since then.
